Must Haves for a Good Gathering

From the daughter of a natural-born party host

My whole life, my parents have thrown parties. They’re good neighbors, and their college friends all still live close by. They’re party people, through and through. These parties aren’t fancy; they’re the good kind where you have good food and easy conversation, and there might be a dance party after everyone’s had too much to drink and we all stomp on the floor and wave wooden kitchen spoons in the air. It’s raucous and fun and lively.

I love how informal these gatherings have always been. It’s open-door, bring who you want, come-as-you are. My mom is the heart of these parties. She’s a master of bringing people together and making people feel seen. She remembers every detail someone tells her about their life and really cares. She’s the kind of person who strangers feel incredibly comfortable spilling their guts to, and she doesn’t feel burdened by it.

It’s incredible to watch, and it’s been a lifetime of witnessing her magic of gathering people together, in big ways and small ways. Here’s what I’ve noticed that she does at every gathering, that really makes things easy.

1. The bathroom is easy to find, and very comfortable.

   1. She always has the light on, with a candle lit, and decorative paper hand towels out. It’s like clockwork, and now I always notice when the guest bathroom isn’t welcoming.

2. Don’t overcomplicate food & give people options.

   1. My mom always has little snacks that people love, and it isn’t anything too complicated. It’s the good stuff, like chips with queso or the great, standard cashews that everyone likes. People feel comfortable to help themselves, because the food isn’t too uppity.

3. Have great music

   1. In my everyday, I’m not a playlist girlie, I’m more of an album girlie. I’m not great at making playlists or knowing what music to play always. If you think about it, keep a small playlist and add to it over time. Spotify is also great at playlists, but keep an ear out during your party and feel free to skip songs that are distracting or bringing the mood down. People like to listen to music that they love (or even just know) at gatherings, so don’t get too out of the box with it.

4. Make sure your dishes are easy to use & find

   1. A mistake that I made when registered for my wedding was getting glassware that was too fragile. Have dishes and glasses that people aren’t afraid of using (or breaking). Along those same lines, make sure that ice is easily accessible for people who want to get their own drinks.

5. Let things unfold naturally, and bring people together only if it makes sense.

   1. Don’t try to sway social dynamics. Most of the time people will be okay on their own, but if you need to, introduce strangers that might have something in common. But don’t force it. There’s nothing worse.

6. You don’t need to invite a ton of people for a true party.

   1. It’s okay to have a small gathering, and it can be just as fun and rowdy as a big party. Don’t force it by inviting people that you don’t think would be fun to hang out with, just because you want to fill a room.

Gathering people together feels like a birthright that my mom has passed down, and gracefully taught all of her kids by example. I think that a lot of people overthink it, and it’s the ease and simplicity that make all of the difference for a guaranteed great time.

xx, Maggie